


From Beginning to End

by ultimateficarchiver



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Disabled Character, First Kiss, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, M/M, Marriage, Meet the Family, Pre-Canon, Same-Sex Marriage, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 10,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimateficarchiver/pseuds/ultimateficarchiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The major moments in Clint and Phil's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Coulson’s been up for 26 hours and hasn’t done this in years, but making an agent have to re-schedule their entrance exam to level five status was something only a demon would do and Phil didn’t want that moniker added to his reputation. Which is how he found himself drinking the last two cups of coffee in the seventh floor lounge reading Agent Clinton “Clint” Andrew Barton’s file. Part of giving the level five exam was sussing out the agents weaknesses and using them repeatedly against the agent throughout the test. Badly needing more caffeine Coulson headed to the exam room on level five.

Agent Barton’s file reads like a textbook on how to write up letters of reprimand so Coulson starts out the exam by giving Barton respect. It throws him off at first, but not in performance inhibiting way. Coulson fires rapid questions and Barton fires answers back - for a moment Coulson thinks he’s back in college having an intellectual tete-a-tete. He hasn’t had a conversation this stimulating in at least two years. Soon the respect that was a tactic for the test has been earned, not that he lets it show.

Policy and procedure questions give way to full-fledged scenarios for Barton to assess from nuts to bolts. No one ever notices the danger from the side in the desert-terrorist-armada scenario, but Barton does without so much as a pause in his recitation of risks. During the space-invasion-in-Montana scenario Coulson actually has to ad lib because Barton recommends a strategy that no one has ever considered before let alone proposed in the exam. Coulson has to think on his feet for all the follow-up questions. 

Barton actually didn’t intend to demonstrate that much competence, let alone show off, but being his true self comes easy with Coulson. It’s amazing what a thing like respect will do. He knows Coulson read his file and he knows what’s in his file due to a late night hack into SHIELD’s systems and he knows how every other person who has ever read it has treated him, so Coulson’s respect means something to him even if it comes with rapid fire difficult questions.

At the end of the three hour oral battle Coulson smiles and tells Barton he passed. In the first moment of humanity he ever shows Barton he adds, “with flying colors.” The smile he gets for breaking from his professional character is totally worth it.

Coulson comes away knowing Barton purposefully lowered his score on his SHIELD-entrance IQ test, but he doesn't turn Barton in for it. Instead, he starts paying attention to everything Barton does and doesn’t do, learning him like he’s going to write his biography. Coulson is winding down a major two year op but he starts making plans, knowing he wants to work with Barton.


	2. Chapter 2

Three months later when Clint is assigned to an operation Coulson is running for the first time and a junior level two agent makes an off-hand disparaging remark about Clint using a bow instead of a gun Coulson publicly and verbally dresses the agent down. 

It's the first time someone's had Clint's back since his brother left him.


	3. Chapter 3

Coulson is also the leader on Clint’s next mission.

Finding out it's Coulson's mission, he’s on his best behavior. He never puts any attitude into "Agent Coulson" or "sir". He holds his tongue on non-misson-related banter on the comms during the tense two hour chase around downtown Rio De Janeiro. He also doesn't prank Agent Anderson, who so richly deserves being taken down a peg or ten. 

The next mission Clint is assigned to is also Coulson's. He takes it for positive affirmation of his good behavior and gives 110% but can't help slipping into more Clint-like behavior. His "Agent Coulson's" though stay respectful and he doesn’t hear any complaints about the rest of it. 

When his fourth mission in a row is also Coulson's he gets suspicious and works up the courage to confront the situation.

"Did you request me, sir?"

"Yes. Is that a problem, Agent Barton?"

"No sir. It's just mostly handlers try to get rid of me."

"That's not the case anymore Agent Barton.” When Barton doesn’t leave, he reveals a little bit more information. “I’ve had you permanently assigned to my group.” 

“Sir? What’s the catch, sir?” Barton thinks he will probably accept anything to keep working with Coulson.

Coulson has made it his job to know Barton inside and out but he’s not prepared for the vulnerability he’s getting to see. “Agent Barton, are you or are you not the best marksman in SHEILD?”

“I am, sir.”

“Do you think I have a habit of working with anyone who isn’t the best?”

“No. Sir.”

“Then why exactly are you surprised that I would have you work for me?”

“Sir, understood, sir.”

“Dismissed.”


	4. Chapter 4

It’s beginning to get cold in the middle-of-September when a mission in Dallas of all places requires Clint to use a long range rifle to take out a target who’s visiting an oil tycoon. A junior agent was responsible for getting a bug in place for the conversation but fails and with a sigh for having to reveal he can do it, Clint uses his scope to read the conversation through their lip movements and relays it over the comms before ending the life of the target.

When he gets back to the safehouse from his nest, the target dispatched, Coulson requests his presence in the room he’s made into his temporary office. Clint had thought he’d be happy, but he’s furious. If they could have finished their mission without a bug the whole time they wouldn’t have had to put Agent Ferris in harms way at all. 

“What else can you do that I don’t know about?” Coulson asks. It’s probably the scariest question Clint’s ever heard because it’s open-ended. There is no way to answer honestly and still keep anything back.

Clint must look like a deer in headlights because Coulson adds, “It won’t leave this room unless there is a good reason. But I have to know.”

“What’s a good reason?”

“Someone’s life is on the line. The planet is on the line.”

Clint thinks he can live with that, and this is Coulson, so he answers honestly. “I’m fluent in French, German, Russian, and American Sign Language.” Only English and Spanish are in his file. “I’m teaching myself Arabic.” If Coulson didn’t already know how smart Barton was he’d raise an eyebrow because Arabic is _hard_ for native English speakers. “I can do Calculus in my head. I have a photographic memory when I want to.” The when he ‘wants to’ part is interesting, but Coulson lets it go for now. “I can pick pockets with the best of them.” Not a surprising skill for an ex-carnie. “I’m a pretty good chef.” Finally, when he didn’t have anything else to add he admitted to his last item. “I’m a half decent hacker.”

Coulson knew the last cost Clint something, but he was proud of him for admitting it.


	5. Chapter 5

It's not until Clint gets shot on a freezing, middle-of-the-night December mission in Minneapolis eight months later that Coulson first touches him - inspecting the graze to Clint's shoulder with a field-hardened eye and his hand. Coulson’s emergency first aid stems the blood loss but the sensation of skin on skin is in no way lessened for Clint.

Clint knows by then he's attracted to Coulson - this man who respects him for who he is. Thankfully the blood and the pain keep him from doing anything stupid. From then on though it's a daily struggle.


	6. Chapter 6

It's a shining April day when Clint has his next appointment with his hearing specialist. It's his biggest secret and he watches for a tail and practices his best evasion tactics the whole way there. So when he turns the corner onto the hallway that has the door to the office to see Coulson standing there he can't help but come to a full stop. 

"Clive," Coulson nods, using the alias Clint's always used with this doctor. "I'll be joining you from now on." The tone is gentle but firm - there is no way out. Clint stands and stares for several moments.

"How?" he finally gets out.

"I had a friend who was hearing impaired," Coulson states as if that explains everything. Clint can't help the face he makes at the phrase. "I haven't told anyone," Coulson says when he sees Clint's reaction. "And I won't unless there's a good reason," he promises, invoking that phrase again. "But I have a need to know."

A lady walks out of an office door down the hall and they remain silent as she walks past them until they hear the elevator doors close.

"It was the explosion in Hong Kong, wasn't it?” Phil asks, concerned. “Why you moved your appointment up three months." He clarifies.

Clint nods. He'd been too close to it. Ever since he'd known his hearing was worse. This was the terrifying day when he found out how bad it was quantitatively.

"How much had you lost before the explosion?"

Hiding now was kind of pointless. "20% in the left, 10% in the right."

Coulson says, "Let's go find out where you're at now," with a gentleness and lack of concern like it's not possibly the end of the world.

Coulson leads them into the office. Clint checks in as Clive and they sit silently next to each other in standard issue medical office chairs until he's called back. The technician, Sue, remembers him and greets him warmly. When she looks at Coulson following him back, Coulson introduces himself as Phillip Clay. She's obviously waiting for an explanation of who he is, but none is given.

With the familiarity of long routine, Clint is put through the standard diagnostics and his results are put into his electronic medical record and then they are lead into the office the doctor uses for paperwork. A few minutes later Dr. Edwards comes in and shuts the door. Coulson introduces himself again with the alias he’s chosen for this op - as if it was SHEILD-official business and not something to hide to avoid being kicked out. Again no explanation of his relation to Clive is forthcoming. The doctor looks at Clint, who nods his okay to go forward with this person in the room. Edwards logs into his computer and peruses the numbers.

"How bad?" Clint asks.

Experience with this particular patient makes Dr. Edwards answer directly. "40% gone in the left, 30% gone in the right."

Clint had known it would be bad, but 40% was a lot. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking down at the floor. Coulson reaches over and puts a hand on his shoulder - he's there, he's not going anywhere - before turning to the doctor.

"What about hearing aids?" Coulson asks, taking charge.

"Of course, they've always been an option," the doctor responds.

"Would they be small enough not to be seen?" Trust Coulson to know the important part.

"There are models that are almost undetectable."

"We'll need two pair," the senior agent proclaims. That makes Clint raise his head.

"How much?" is his contribution to the discussion.

He quotes a price and adds, “roughly."

Clint shakes his head and torso - no. He almost shakes Coulson's hand off, but the senior agent readjusts. Clint has savings but he lives in New York City and he hasn't planned for this kind of expense. 

Coulson turns to the doctor. "Could you please give us a minute Dr. Edwards?"

An unusual request, but he couldn't see a reason to say no especially considering this new man was obviously trying to get Clive to agree to what he'd been advocating for years. He silently left the room.

"I have a black ops line item."

"They'll know."

"Non-sequential unmarked cash."

"I can't let you." Coulson not having told anyone is one thing, and Coulson being supportive is another, but becoming complicit in his lie is more than Clint thinks he should let his handler do. 

"You can't keep it a secret much longer without them," Coulson counters. 

Clint knows he's right - he hadn't even heard the microwave ding it's completion last night. Still he spends the time to go through it in his head once, twice, three times, before he lets out, "okay."

It's only then that Coulson takes his hand off Clint's shoulder blade. He gets up and brings Dr. Edwards back into the room. They talk details. On the way out the door Coulson makes the follow-up appointment and hands the receptionist an envelope for the deposit. 

Coulson had been prepared for this.


	7. Chapter 7

Clint finds himself walking into a diner down the street from the hearing specialist with Coulson at his side. They sit in a booth in silence until a waitress comes over and they both order coffee.

Clint finally breaks the silence. “Was it the reading lips and the ASL?” he asks, referring to their conversation in Dallas.

“No, I suspected before that.” Coulson’s look makes it clear he won’t reveal more. If Clint wasn’t familiar with that look he’d have become more anxious - he needed to know his tell.

“What confirmed it?”

“The appointment with Dr. Edwards.”

Clint didn’t even bother trying to find out how he knew. Coulson didn’t reveal his secrets.

“It’s degenerative,” Clint volunteers. Coulson nods, obviously not surprised.

The coffee comes and they sit in silence for awhile.

“Why aren’t you turning me in and kicking me out?”

“Because it hasn’t inhibited your performance in the field.”

“And when it does?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.” Clint’s surprised there is a we involved, but then Coulson has always surprised him from the very first day they met and the man did just appropriate funds to help hide his secret.

More silence.

“We need to have a word.” When Clint just looks at him, he elaborates. “For in the field if something happens to your hearing.”

“Dallas.”

“What if we’re in Dallas?”

“Then Hong Kong.”

“Okay,” Coulson confirms.


	8. Chapter 8

One day in Puerto Rico Agent Han makes a fag joke in their base of operations in an effort to pass the time. Clint has long since trained himself not only to not say anything but also to laugh with the guys in situations like this. So he's totally not prepared for Coulson's reaction. Stiff shoulders and even stiffer words.

"What was that, Agent?"

Han starts to repeat the opening line like Coulson just didn't hear him, when Coulson holds up his hand to stop him. "Do you find insensitive humor appropriate for the workplace, Agent Han?"

"No sir," Agent Han has the sense to say.

"Would you like it very much if I made a 'chink' joke?"

"Uh, no sir."

"Then I'll thank you to remember that gay people are people too and that you even work with some - like me, for example."

The air falls out of the room like a hole opened in the middle of the floor. Clint's mind practically explodes. His gaydar never was much good, but woah. So much for being able to tell his fantasies the object of his desire was straight.

Finally, Agent Han gets out, "Yes sir."

Agent Coulson turns back to the map he was staring at on the table and the mission continues.


	9. Chapter 9

Clint wants to say thank you. Thank you for standing up to Han. Thank you for coming out. Thank you for being strong enough to do it. Thank you for setting a professional tone. Thanks for not being a coward like me. Just… thank you. He thinks it and feels it and wants to express it, but he doesn’t know which method of communication is right for saying thank-you-while-kind-of-coming-out-to-your-badass-boss.

He’s finally settled on a note, but he doesn’t have any paper. He searches the safe house for some, but of course the only place he’s seen any is the room Coulson’s appropriated as an office. He glides through the house, ready to make a quick in-and-out post-it note sized thank you to leave for Coulson to find in the morning, but of course as soon as he opens the door to the office he finds Coulson behind the table. The door jam had been hiding the light emanating from the room.

“Agent Barton?”

“Uh, hi.” Clint can’t help looking like he’s been caught doing something wrong by a parent.

“Can I help you?” Coulson doesn’t sound mad, only like he wants to help.

“I just - I was going to leave you a note.”

Clint has Coulson’s full attention now, he can tell by the way Coulson sets down his pen and closes the folder with the forms he’d been looking at. “What was it going to say?”

“Thank you.” Coulson patiently waits him out. “For today - for the thing with Han.”

“Ah.” Now it all makes sense to Coulson. “You’re welcome.” From the look on Coulson’s face he realizes Coulson understands what it’s like to be the one who stays quiet in the face of bigotry and knows how welcome the confrontation of it by someone stronger is. It makes him seem… human.

“Yeah, well. Good night.”

“Agent Barton.”

“Yes sir.”

“If someone should step out of line like that again - please tell me.”

“Yes sir,” Clint answers, already knowing next time he’ll be strong enough to do it himself - minus the coming out part that is. He’s had a good example.

He closes the door on his way out.


	10. Chapter 10

For all the secrets they’ve shared, their relationship is almost strictly professional with a mix of co-worker familiarity. So when Agents Barton and Coulson get captured and given truth serum and then, in a conversation that only the writer of a soap opera could imagine, both admitted they had feelings for the other it's suddenly a whole new ball game.

They half-rescue themselves - meeting their rescue party on the staircase, thankful they don't have to track down a working phone in this neighborhood. They get put in separate rooms in medical while the drugs make their way out of their system.

It's two days later when Coulson knocks on the door to Barton's apartment. 

Barton checks the security camera, and knowing he can't avoid Coulson forever, opens the door. It's best if they speak in private.

Coulson walks in, down the corridor, and into the living room. Clint grabs his hearing aids from where he left them on the front table, following him. 

Clint puts in the devices that only he, Coulson, Dr. Edwards, Sue, and a receptionist know about in full view of the senior agent.

They stare at each other for a few moments. The silence is thick. It's the first time they've been face-to-face since their admissions sitting tied to chairs in a dark room.

Coulson had prepared exactly what he was going to say on the way over here, but instead what comes out is "It's awful wanting what you can't have, isn't it?" It should have allowed them to commiserate, but Clint armed with the truth, a hidden pocket of courage, and enough time to have contemplated the situation won’t have it.

"If we both want it why can't we have it?"

Silence reigns again.

"There's no reg against it," Clint states. He's right - SHIELD doesn’t have fraternization regs, they would rather have agents together for security purposes than have them with outsiders. Problems are addressed under the sexual harassment policy.

"You know it's not that simple." Even now Coulson won’t let himself believe they can have anything more than a professional relationship.

Clint slowly approaches Coulson. He reaches his hand up to touch his cheek. Slowly, telegraphing his intent, he leans in to bring their lips together.

It's soft and barely there and lasts all of three seconds. 

Clint leans back and looks up to find Coulson's eyes with his own, but he finds them closed. The senior agent seems like he's trying to memorize everything. 

Coulson's hand comes up to Clint's cheek, and gently pulls the archer towards him. 

More slow, soft kisses follow. No urgency - just discovery. 

They part minutely, instinctively leaning their foreheads together. There was no breathlessness but now they fight for air, regaining their bearings.

Coulson's second hand goes to Clint's hip and Clint's goes to the middle of Coulson's chest.

So many things to say and no idea what order to say them in.

The knowledge of the feel of Clint’s lips change Coulson’s tune and he admits, “I’m willing to try.”

Clint leans forward, going back to giving and receiving tender kisses. Their lips are soft and smooth and press together repeatedly.

Phil's other hand goes to the back of his head, his fingertips spreading through his hair, gentle but insistent. Clint moves his hand from Phil's chest to his hip and then around his side, stepping closer into the body he wants.

For two grown men it proceeds very slowly. The passion is there, oh, is it there, but they don't break away from the simplicity of closed lips. 

Phil's the one that breaks - slipping his tongue out to glide along Clint's bottom lip. When the pass from one side to the other is done, Clint's tongue reaches out to do the same. 

And then it's too much. If they keep their lips together it will get primal and passionate and pyrotechnic. They lean their foreheads together instead, hands on each others necks, a focus on calming their breathing.

Their hips are close enough that they can both tell the other is half-hard in their pants. They're both keenly aware of being fully dressed, both full of want but unwilling to break the spell they seem to be under.

Phil breaks the magical silence. "We should talk."

"We should make love," Clint counters.

It warms Phil's heart to hear that connotation.

They are past declarations of love, they had truth serum for that, but the feelings fill the air anyway.

Having regained his equilibrium Clint angles his head to kiss Phil again. This time, his tongue requests and receives entrance. 

"I want you now," Clint pants.

Like the impact of a car crash it switches to heat in an instant. Phil backs him into the nearest wall, mouths mauling each other. Clumsily, Clint leads the way to his bedroom even though he's tripping backwards. Hands are everywhere. Clothing gets strewn. 

Suddenly there is skin on skin and a bed beneath Clint's back and overwhelming feelings of naked-cock-on-naked-cock. Dueling french kissing, hands learning and laying claims, friction and heat and with one, two juts of Phil's hips into Clint's he comes all over the man's stomach. 

Clint kisses and touches him through it.

As soon as his mind comes back to his body Phil reaches down to fist Clint's cock. The archer's hips arch up like he's trying to make a bow from his body and shoots his load to mix with Phil's on his abs.


	11. Chapter 11

The play hooky from work the next day, staying in bed learning each other's bodies. The only sounds are of lips and hands and limbs and covers moving.

Sometime after noon Clint grimaces and Phil notices, inquiring with a facial expression. Terrified for the moments before Clint can find words that this is over before it can even really begin.

"I'm not used to wearing them this long."

Clint's been naked for over twelve hours - there is only one thing he can mean. He'd only been home for less than half an hour before Phil had arrived at his doorstep last night, so he's been wearing his hearing aids for over 28 hours straight. 

Knowing the argument that will come if they discuss it, Phil reaches a hand to Clint's right ear and pulls one out, reaching over to place it on the nightstand before taking the other and placing it next to it's companion.

Phil places his hand on Clint's chin and tilts his head until he's sure Clint is watching him. The archer should be able to hear him given how close he is, but he hopes the added lip reading will emphasize his point.

"Don't ever hide from me."

Part of Clint wants to flip Phil over onto his back and suck his cock when he hears that, but their elongated period of sexual tension has been cut. It's time for at least some words.

"Hearing you come is like nirvana."

And like that Phil understands. Clint wants everything Phil has to give. It's a declaration with more depth than classic phrases could ever have.

Phil doesn't know how to reconcile giving Clint what he wants and wanting Clint not to hurt from wearing little machines in his ears. Kissing can't make it a non-issue. His agent training says the answer is 'compromise' - some time together with them in, some time with them out. The unfairness of it keeps him from proposing it.

"I don't have a perfect answer," he finally admits.

That seems to be enough for Clint, because he starts touching his new lover with long strokes up and down his torso.

As they slowly embrace and become passionate again, Clint learns that he can still hear most of the noises Phil makes. He misses some of his breaths, but the moans and the gasps make it through.


	12. Chapter 12

The first few weeks are full of sex. Making up for lost time, Clint calls it. Phil smiles as he calls it hedonism. Every moment they are not on a mission they’re at Phil’s apartment (it’s closer to the office and less travel time means more intimate time). Phil will never see his couch the same way. Clint will never see Phil the same way. Clint learns under Phil’s tough agent exterior there is a multi-dimensional and multi-layered man and he feels privileged to be allowed to see it.

There is no brilliant solution for the hearing aid problem. Sometimes they stay in, sometimes Clint takes them out and sometimes Phil takes them out. After one night of Clint sleeping with them in Phil makes it his job to make sure they come out before they fall asleep. That makes morning sex the sex without them most of the time. 

Showering together, they find is more intimate than sex. Even more so than sharing a shower, Phil reaching into Clint’s ears to remove his hearing aids seems to be the height of intimacy. 

They talk for hours, too - always somehow touching. Phil learns things about Clint he couldn’t get any other way - why Clint knows so many things he hides and why he hides them. The circus was so unpredictable and had taught him the only one he can rely on is himself so he prepares himself for worst case scenarios. Clint learns about Phil’s love of orchestral and classical music and Lola and Captain America collectibles and his family.

Then Clint seems to make a decision that all sex should be fully heard sex and will pause them no matter where they are at to make sure his hearing aids are embedded in his ears. After a few days, when they are lying in Phil’s bed sated for the time being but hands still caressing each other as they lay on their sides facing each other, Phil asks, “Why do you always have them in now?”

Clint who has been looking at the place where his thumb is rubbing circles on Phil’s hip bone looks up to meet Phil’s eyes. “Because someday this will be over,” Phil opens his mouth to protest (in Phil’s mind he worries about their ending, but he also already knows he will fight for them harder than anything he’s ever fought for in his life) but Clint is there with a finger pressed to his lips. “Or someday I’ll have lost all my hearing.”

Phil can hear the fear underneath the calm words and wants to argue strenuously, but he knows Clint better than Clint does, and he wants to be supportive instead of starting a fight, so he moves his hand up to Clint’s neck, running his thumb along his jaw line in the way he knows Clint adores. Predictably Clint’s eyes shudder closed, leaning into the touch. 

Words will not help Clint - he’s been lied to too many times. Instead, since he can’t condense years into moments, Phil makes love to him as sweetly as he can. It’s all caressing with fingers and palms and nibbling at skin and licking the sensitive spots to start. Phil leaves no part of his lovers body unworshipped as he slides down towards the waiting erection. Phil giving a blowjob isn’t something that happens often - it’s the rarest sexual act they do and that makes it all the more fitting for this moment as Phil let’s his reverence and love express themselves in touches. Clint comes with his eyes closed, one hand gripping Phil’s shoulder and the other a fist in the sheets.


	13. Chapter 13

Phil runs Clint’s words over and over in his head on a loop. Clint is waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to ‘be over.’ Phil is ready for commitment, but knows where Clint’s head is at now if he brings it up he’ll push Clint further away instead of bringing him closer. So he keeps his mouth shut. He keeps his mouth shut for over six months.

It turns out what finally tips their relationship into the next stage is literally Phil keeping his mouth shut.

Clint teaches junior agents marksmanship skills every Thursday between 5 and 7. It’s the only night Phil is guaranteed to be home already when he comes over afterwards. So when Clint unlocks the door at 6:14 he’s not surprised the lights are on. He doesn’t hear anything though, so either Phil is farther into the apartment or the HVAC system has covered his entrance. 

He walks farther into the apartment and sees Phil sitting on the couch with his back to where he’s standing. He starts to plan his approach to surprising Phil when he sees Phil’s hands are moving - no, they’re signing.

He looks over Phil’s shoulder to see his laptop holding an open Skype window with a 30-something-year-old woman with brunette hair. A plain-jane with a spark. He looks over the picture on the cabinet - she’s a few years older now, but it’s definitely the same person.

Phil’s hearing impaired friend is his sister.


	14. Chapter 14

Clint is frozen in place in shock at the same time he feels warmth spread through his chest. Phil loves his sister, speaks about her accomplishments with pride, Clint never even had a hint she wasn’t a perfectly abled person. Phil’s movements speak to a casual fluency in sign language - the kind that comes from years of practice. She’s a writer. She never calls on the phone like his parents or his brother did that one time but Phil always knows about her latest news. Pieces of a puzzle slot into place. She’s not just hearing impaired - “she’s deaf.”

He’s so busy processing this new information he doesn’t notice that he speaks his epiphany out loud. Phil startles, turning to the sound and goes stock still. It takes a moment but he regains his faculties, turns back to the laptop, signs a hasty apology and good-bye and folds the laptop screen down into the keyboard.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.

“You don’t like to be reminded.” That’s true enough. Clint hates anything remotely related to his disability − can’t stand acknowledging it, let alone talking about it.

“That’s why it never bothered you.”

“No,” Phil is adamant, standing up as if it will make his words more true. “It’s why I knew about it, knew how to make it easier on you. It has nothing to do with my loving you.”

For the second time in as many minutes Clint doesn’t know what to do. It’s the first time the words have been said outside of serum-induced haze.

In for a penny, in for a pound, Phil speaks again. “I want you to move in with me.”

Clint has enough presence of mind to move to one of the dining table chairs before he sits down. Silence permeates for a minute.

“I want that,” Clint finally says. He hears Phil let out a breath. “The other part-”

“Don’t.” Phil interrupts. “Don’t force it. It’s okay if you never say it.”

But Clint gets up and walks closer to Phil, the couch still separating them and signs: _You told me once never to hide from you._ A pause for courage and he signs: _I love you._

Phil smiles. 

“I want you to meet her.”

Clint thinks, _yeah, I want that too_. He’d wanted to meet her before, this woman that Phil so obviously loved, but now - now, he wanted to know everything about her. “What’s my cover?”

“We work together at Homeland Security.” It’s the official cover - he gets to use his real name then.

“When?”

“Well…” Phil hesitates. Clint hasn’t gone running away yet, but that could still change. “I should call her back. Apologize again.”

“Okay,” Clint says, coming to sit on the couch. Phil moves the laptop back so the camera can see both of them and calls his sister back.

Turns out Phil talks about Clint a lot, so Jennifer has him at a disadvantage, but Jennifer and Clint are fast friends.


	15. Chapter 15

It’s their first Thanksgiving as a couple and they’re going to spend it with Phil’s family. The people at SHIELD might not know anything about them but Phil wouldn’t lie to his mom. 

Andrew and his wife, Christina, will be there, along with Jennifer. Clint’s worked out that Phil and Andrew aren’t close like Phil and Jennifer are.

They arrive the day before turkey day at a house that looks like the definition of middle class middle America. Clint’s been keeping Jennifer updated via text with where they are at since they got off the plane. She’s out the door to greet them before Phil’s even finished parking in the driveway. She opens her arms and Clint falls into them. Since that first introduction six months ago they’ve started their own one-on-one conversations through Skype and texting. This is their first time meeting in person and they’ve both been looking forward to it for weeks. 

She and Phil are the only ones here who know about Clint’s hearing. About two months ago she’d asked about why Clint had learned to sign and he’d thought about it for a minute and reached into his ears to take out his hearing aids and proceeded to tell her the concise truth - he learned because he’s hearing impaired. Phil had never said anything, but she recovered from her surprise quickly and sensing he wasn’t ready to talk about it she’d moved the conversation to a different topic. 

After Clint and Jessica hug it’s all hands flying with words in the air. Phil watches them for a moment, entranced before he goes over and places a hand on his sister’s shoulder. _What am I? Chopped liver?_ He signs. 

_Yes,_ they sign together in tandem, laughing. Then Phil gets a bear hug of a welcome from Jennifer, too.

The rest of the family is surprised that Clint can sign. They knew he and Jennifer had been talking but they had assumed it was through emails and texts and it was obvious they didn’t know how much they’d been talking. Phil’s Dad goes so far as to corner him in a hallway and thank him for learning for Jennifer and compliment him on learning so fast. Clint just smiles shyly and admits he knew before he ever met Phil. 

When they sit down to dinner that night Clint grabs the seat next to Jennifer, but Phil immediately says “that’s my seat.” They go back and forth with their eyes - but Phil shakes his head in a serious way that leaves no room for argument and moves Clint over a seat. Clint finds out why when he sees how dinner plays out. The whole family, except Christina signs - signs and speaks in tandem actually - but of course getting Jennifer’s attention isn’t as easy as saying her name. Phil is her connection to the conversation when needed. He’ll place a hand on her left elbow and sign a name of who is trying to say something to her when her attention isn’t on them. Christina forgets sometimes to wait for Jennifer to look at her before talking, so Phil’ll sign whatever Christina is saying so Jennifer doesn’t miss it. It’s obviously a familiar routine to everyone and Clint’s heart kind of overflows with the care Phil takes in taking care of his sister. 

That night when they’ve retired to Phil’s former bedroom turned guest bedroom and Phil is digging through his suitcase to grab pajamas and his toiletry bag, Clint takes the possessions out of his lovers hands and sets them down silently, a finger on Phil’s lips to stifle the protest and proceeds to kiss him gently. They continue easily for a few minutes before Clint steps back and starts signing. 

_I have never loved you more than when I saw you at dinner tonight._ Phil smiles and moves to kiss Clint again, but Clint’s not done. _Seeing you with Jennifer - when I’m-_ Phil’s on Clint then - all hands and mouth and tongue. Neither of them acknowledge the truth that one day Clint will be deaf, though they know it’s a reality. Phil loves the implication that they will be around that long and that he will be trusted like that. Their quiet love making feels more like a promise than sex.


	16. Chapter 16

Breakfast is cereal whenever people wake up. When they sit down to the prepared feast of Thanksgiving Clint again takes the seat next to Jennifer, but this time when Phil challenges him, he holds his ground. He will care for Jennifer too. 

Clint is a little slow on some cues, especially in the beginning, but overall supports Jessica like Phil had the night before. 90% of the time not doing anything, but there when needed to make it easier.

This time when they get up to their temporary bedroom Phil unexpectedly pushes Clint’s back into the closed door and presses into him with kisses. Clint gets with the program pretty fast and they make out passionately. 

“No one’s ever done that.” He clarifies: “For her.”

“Oh.” Clint says as he connects the dots.

“Andrew’s never even -“ Phil gets out before declaring: “I’m gonna suck you ’til you see stars.”

“Oh.” As Phil slides to his knees, Clint repeats himself with more feeling - “Oh!”

The zipper in his fly gets pulled down and then Phil’s mouth is hot and moist against his erection through his boxer briefs. Between Phil’s mouth and his precum his underwear is now wet. Phil lovingly slides him out through the placket, wraps a hand around him at the base, and then licks him from root to tip before opening his mouth to take him in. 

Phil’s done this before, but always in bed - never on his knees and the visual is not helping Clint maintain any semblance of control. Clint’s hands are resting on Phil’s shoulders, but when Phil takes one and places it on the back of his head, Clint takes the other, fists it, and shoves it in his mouth. He can’t help the way he feels every millimeter of wet heat that Phil provides.

It’s over embarrassingly quickly but it’s the best blowjob Clint can ever remember getting for a lot of reasons. 

The rest of the weekend they trade off the coveted seat next to Jennifer at meals.


	17. Chapter 17

In May the Avengers assemble for the first time. Coulson has a close call with Loki’s spear, but it’s Clint’s recovery from being mind-controlled that takes the bigger toll on them.

It’s the end of September before the next life-altering event happens.

It’s just another morning preparing to go to work when Clint opens his underwear drawer and sees a small black box. The smallest kind a jeweler has is sitting on top of his boxer briefs. Curiosity drives him to pick it up and open it before really understanding the implication, but when he sees the platinum band it’s like the air is knocked out of his lungs. 

As proposals go it’s unusual, but also so them. Clint doesn’t do well with feelings and relationship stuff. Valentine’s Day had been a disaster. He doesn’t do well with surprises either as anyone who’s flinched the wrong way at the other end of his scope could tell you if they weren’t dead. So it’s not surprising that surprises about their relationship go over like a lead balloon most of the time. And Phil, well, Phil feels everything about them so deeply, too deeply. Clint could have been halfway to Jersey if he’d tried to do it in person and Phil would have been destroyed by the rejection that was really more about seeking refuge from being overwhelmed then it was about the question. This, the black box set against soft white cotton somehow feels right. 

He lifts the ring out of it’s place in the foam and sees there is an engraving. Not words, but lines that come together to form a hand with the two inner fingers down and the three others extended - thumb, index, and pinky. It’s the sign for _I love you_. Later Clint will wonder how they made an engraving small enough to fit on the band but large enough to be recognized but now he just slides the ring on the middle finger - not the ring finger, that will be Phil’s job - of his left hand and finishes getting dressed.

Phil is in the kitchen making breakfast and sipping coffee as always. If he’s on edge there are only the eggs in the skillet to notice. When Clint comes out of their bedroom he looks up. Clint, in a show of mercy, displays his hand and Phil glows with the biggest smile Clint has ever seen. They’re forty-five minutes late for work but it’s the first time in four months so once assurances are made there is no danger, no one really cares.


	18. Chapter 18

Two days later Phil opens his sock drawer to find papers and a small black box. There are two folded sets bound in blue legal paper, two plane tickets to Vermont, and a printed webpage with the items needed to get a marriage license highlighted in yellow. The legalese is power of attorney papers for both of them. The plane tickets are for two days later - Friday night with a return Sunday evening. A five day engagement is short but Phil loves that Clint doesn’t want to wait.

Phil opens the jewelers box last, opening it to see an identical platinum band to the one he bought Clint. This time it’s engraved with the words ‘No hiding.’ 

Phil puts it on the same finger Clint did and stands in wonder at the rightness of it. He skims the power of attorney papers. They’re both SHIELD standard issue forms but with all the extra clauses that mean Clint wants to make every decision should Phil be unable to and vice versa. Clint’s is initialed, signed, witnessed, and notarized - with dates from two years ago, before they’d so much as kissed. Phil’s has blank lines.

Phil pulls out a pair of socks, but skips putting them on yet in favor of walking into the living room. Clint turns from the microwave where he’s heating oatmeal to see a sockless Phil rooting in his desk drawer. Phil pulls out two think legal size file folders and walks over to the island with them. He sets the folders down and slides them across to Clint. Clint catches a glint of light off Phil’s new ring.

Clint takes the top one, clearly labeled with Phil’s name on it and opens it to find copies of a will, living will, power of attorney and trust papers leaving everything including the heart-wrenching medical decisions to Clint with all the appropriate signatures with dates from last year. The next folder is labeled ‘Clint’ and inside are the same forms listing Phil as beneficiary. “You can change anything you want and I’ll have them re-drawn, I just wanted to prompt the conversation.”

“Last year?”

“I knew you were it for me the moment we kissed.”

Clint sets the papers down and reaches across for Phil’s hand, which he gives easily.

“And Vermont?”

“We could call the airline and see if we could leave tonight instead.”

Clint grins and Phil grins back and they don’t do more than hold hands through breakfast because Fury had looked pretty mad the other day at having worried over nothing and because really, they have the rest of their lives.


	19. Chapter 19

They both want their claim on the other visible to anyone and everyone. They will wear their rings but continue their no PDA policy. In order to keep with their ‘no hiding’ rule, but also to maintain their professionalism, they agree not to make an announcement, but they won’t lie if asked. Who they are in a relationship with is already classified level seven.

Of course it’s Natasha who catches sight of the rings first thing Monday morning after they’ve gotten back from Vermont. The one on Clint’s hand stands out to her like adding red to a black and white photo. Her eyes dart over to Phil’s hand - she’s paid to be observant and she’s not dumb. The matching ring stares back at her and she smiles. “Congratulations.”

Phil and Clint smile, but it’s Phil who says, “thank you,” with obvious happiness.

They team is in the briefing room on their phones or StarkPads waiting for Thor to show up. Tony senses he’s missing something and looks up in time to catch the glances between the three of them. “What?” he inquires.

“They got married,” Natasha supplies. That gets everyone’s attention.

“Who got married?” Bruce asks.

“Clint and Phil.”

The commotion after that starts as an uproar and ends with smiles and some man-to-man hugs and handshakes.

They are both glad that among the people they are closest to they don’t have to hide.


	20. Chapter 20

Phil’s Mom calls at irregular intervals. It’s been two weeks since Vermont this time as the phone rings when they are bringing their dirty dinner dishes over to the sink. Clint’s closer to Phil’s cell, so he picks it up and hands it over. Phil spots the caller id, smiles, and deftly presses the button to initiate the call. “Hi Mom,” he answers. Clint turns the water on. Phil smiles as he listens to his mother, his hip against the counter watching Clint. His mother is obviously catching him up on all the family news as Clint rinses their plates.

“Works good,” Phil says vaguely. He listens for another moment. “Clint’s good too. He’s right here actually.” Clint smiles. Phil points a finger at the phone with a question on his face: _you want to talk to her?_ Clint nods, reaching for a towel to dry off his hands. “Here he is, Mom,” Phil segways.

“Hi Mrs. Coulson,” Clint smiles into the phone, turning to face away from the sink. 

“Hello dear,” he hears in his ear. “What’s new with you?” Clint looks down at his wedding ring. He must hesitate a second too long because then it’s - “Is something wrong with you and Phil?”

“No! No, nothing’s wrong. The opposite in fact.” They haven’t exactly discussed how to tell Phil’s family and it’s not his mom so he doesn’t feel it’s his place to tell. Phil looks at him a little worried. “It’s just been a long day that’s all,” he covers. Phil comes closer, placing a hand on his shoulder and a hand possessively on his stomach. Clint relaxes into his husband.

“Well, we all have long days sometimes.” Clint knows Mrs. Coulson is so happy her son has someone in his life after years of being alone that her focus is on making their conversations easy. “What’d you have for dinner?” Food was Mrs. Coulson’s version of talking about the weather.

“Fettucine alfredo and garlic bread.” Clint can answer that at least without national security implications or personal land mines.

“Been to any new restaurants lately?” 

“No, we’ve been cooking in.”

“Oh good. That means you’re getting home at a decent hour.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Clint confirms. “I’m going to hand you back to Phil now so I can finish the dishes.”

“Alright dear. Take care.” Clint hands the phone over expecting Phil to step away, but he steps closer, the hand on Clint’s stomach sliding to his hip as he faces Clint.

“Mom, there’s something I want to tell you and Dad. Can you get him on the phone too?” Now? Clint asks with his eyes. Phil nods, pressing the speakerphone button. He waits for the other handset to click on. “Hi Dad.”

“Hello son.”

“Could you both sit down please?”

“Philip what’s wrong?” His mother asks, slipping to his proper name.

“Nothings wrong, Mom. Are you both sitting down?”

“Yes, I’m sitting now. So is your mother. Come on now, out with it.”

“I asked Clint to marry me.”

“Oh, Philip!” His mother exclaims, obviously on cloud nine. “That’s wonderful!”

“We went to Vermont two weeks ago to make it official.”

“Philip Jonathan Coulson you didn’t invite me!?”

“We have a picture,” Clint pipes in, trying to smooth the ruffled feathers. 

“I should hope so!” A moment later - “It’s legal in Vermont, yes?” Trust his mother to be concerned about legal recognition.

“Yes,” Phil confirms, leaning his forehead against his husbands, Clint’s hands on his biceps, the phone between them.

“Have you told your siblings yet?” Phil’s Dad pipes in.

“No, you’re the first to know.”

“Thanksgiving is in two months and you’re both coming, I won’t hear any arguments.” They’d had a trip to Portland planned for June, but Loki had ruined that and it had brought back his families memories of all the times he’d planned to visit and then gotten caught up in work.

“Yes, Mrs. Coulson,” Clint agrees before Phil can hedge. 

“Now Clint, you’re family now, you call us Mom and Dad.”

“Okay,” is all Clint can get out, overwhelmed. Parents for him are equated with drug addictions and fighting and other unpleasant things to think about but he knows this is as far from that as it’s possible to get.

They speak for a few more minutes before they hang up. Phil knows his mother will be calling more frequently for awhile now. He presses some buttons on his phone to call his brother Andrew, the dishes forgotten. On speakerphone again, they reveal the news of their nuptials. Andrew is happy for them, but takes it in stride. 

Then Phil texts Jennifer asking if she has time for a Skype call. Jennifer agrees quickly, worried something is wrong for him to ask for a call not at their regularly scheduled time. This time they reveal the news by holding up their left hands to the camera. Jennifer is thrilled for them, signing questions a mile a minute. With grins on their faces they answer her.

When they’re done they turn to each other. “I can’t believe you promised my mom we would go to Thanksgiving - we might get called in.”

“I can’t believe you thought not going was an option.”

“I’m selfish. I want you to myself.”

“Isn’t that what this ring means?”

“Unfortunately no.”

Clint gets a contemplative look on this face, then moves himself so he has a knee on each side of Phil’s legs with Phil’s back to the back of the couch. He takes each of Phil’s hands in his and intertwines their fingers. Clint’s not good with relationship words, but as he leans into Phil’s lips, he says with kisses, _that’s what it means to me._


	21. Chapter 21

The last HYDRA agent alive detonates a short-range EMP as he goes down from one of Hawkeye’s arrows. It knocks out Tony’s suit, the helicopter-escape plan, their comms, and of course, Clint’s hearing aids. There aren’t any comms to alert Phil through, but can put two and two together - he’ll know Clint is now effectively disabled. 

The rest of the team however, is clueless. 

Natasha is the one that gets to him first. He’s on the roof of the tallest building in town. He sees her coming since he’s positioned himself with his back to the wall and she’s facing him head on so he can read her lips and answer her, but when they start down the fire escape she obviously says something that he can’t make out. He has such fear of discovery, but he’s had time to plan for this occasion and the fear of getting her killed by missing something or not answering a question correctly outweighs it and he says, “Could you turn around and say that to my face?”

She does turn, but instead of repeating herself, she intones, “Barton?”

“I couldn’t hear you. Could you say it again?” He’s trying to be patient and not reveal more than he has to but it’s obviously paining him.

“I said, did you see where Tony fell?”

“Yes, two blocks east of here by a deli.” And because the jig is up - her curiosity will never waver until she has answers now and to avoid having to ask again, he confesses. “I need you to look at me when you talk to me so I can read your lips.”

With a look that says _we will sooo be talking about this later_ , she nods and starts going back down the stairs.

They reach Tony six minutes later. He was only two stories up when he fell and the suit has some safety features for incidents similar to this, so he’s just a little banged up instead of dead.

They find Captain America next, then Thor and Bruce find them. Clint hangs to the back as they walk towards the safe house Phil was in. Tony makes a joke and everyone laughs except Clint which gets him a stare from Tony, a raised eyebrow from Bruce, a glare inviting him to to spill his guts from Nat, awkward puzzlement from Steve and confusion from Thor.

Clint really doesn’t want to have this conversation at all, let alone in the middle of a dark street, so he settles for the small delay he can get. “I’ll explain when we get to the safe house.” He tries not to think about whether doing this in front of Phil will make it better or worse. 

They get to the unassuming brownstone. The electronic security measures are out, so they aren’t surprised when they have to do call and response code words to avoid getting shot to death by Coulson and his current cadre of junior agents. The team is welcomed back and the junior agents get to pulling out and lighting candles. As soon as that’s done, Coulson banishes them to go outside and re-establish communication with headquarters. They don’t need three agents to do that, but Clint looks awful, Natasha has her arms folded across her chest glaring at him, and the others are uncharacteristically silent.

Natasha breaks the silence with a firm, “tell us.”

“I’m -“ he can’t say the words. Coulson takes two strides across the room to stand next to his husband. Clint will not be alone in this. He cups his husbands elbow in his hand.

“He’s hearing impaired,” Coulson explains. “The EMP took out his hearing aids.” Clint can’t believe he considered this might be harder with Phil than without.

“You knew?!” Nat is even madder now.

“Yes.” He’s completely unapologetic about it.

“How long?”

“How long have I known or how long has -“ he can’t bring himself to say impaired again, “his hearing been compromised?”

“Both,” Bruce states.

“I’ve known for years. He’s had hearing problems since birth.”

“You told him but not me?” This Nat directs at Clint. And now her anger makes sense to Coulson. She is not angry about a deficit in the field, she is angry she wasn’t told.

“I didn’t tell him. He just knew.” Clint states.

Steve is absorbing it all, Thor is puzzled but Jane has convinced him these are good times to stay quiet.

Bruce gets Clint’s attention by taking a step forward and asks, “how bad?” 

“Bad,” Clint responds. Since the first day Philip Clay went with Clive to Dr. Edwards they’ve been back at least every six months and every time there is further hearing loss. Phil must agree with him that the numbers are irrelevant because he doesn’t elaborate.

Tony takes a step forward and asks, _“Do you sign?”_

Clint and Coulson respond with _yes_ at the same time.

Steve’s the one who asks the reasonable question. “What do we need to know to work with you in the field?” Of course he says it when Clint isn’t look at him, so Coulson places his hand on Clint’s forearm and when he has his attention, signs it to him with a _Cap asks_ in front of it.

Clint turns to Steve and takes a deep breath. “Normally nothing. The code word for - for a problem is Dallas, unless we’re in Dallas, then it’s Hong Kong.”

Coulson adds, “keep him away from loud noises,” because he doesn’t want another Hong Kong.

Tony who has been uncharacteristically quiet raises his hand and when Clint sees him, signs and says aloud, _“What can we do to help?”_

The only answer Clint’s brain has is there’s nothing you can do but can’t bring himself to say it, and Coulson sees it in his eyes, fields the question. “At times like these, make sure he’s looking at you so he can read your lips. Don’t tell anyone else.”

“Who else knows?” Nat asks.

“His audiologist,” Coulson supplies. “Not Medical.”

As the depth of the secret was established no one in the room moved. Trust was a shaky thing between them still and this was like a meteor crash landing in their backyard.

Coulson just wanted to hold his husband, so he shut down the conversation with, “If you have any questions or concerns now or in the future, please see me.” And with that he took Clint by the elbow and lead them to the bedroom they’d claimed as theirs.


	22. Chapter 22

Barton’s on assignment and has been for two weeks. So Coulson is going through his normal without-Barton routine of visiting all the lounges in headquarters. He catches up on scuttlebutt and staves off some of the restlessness. 

Coulson is in the second floor lounge used mostly by junior agents, reading other teams mission reports just because he can (and because he’s run out of all other paperwork) over a cup of mediocre coffee when Agent Matilda Jones comes in with Agent Maria Baxter.

“Come on, he’s the hottest thing around,” Jones declares.

“He’s also taken. Or haven’t you seen his ring?”

“A guy like that, no way he’s faithful to one woman.”

Coulson is only registering their conversation in the background until they bring him into it.

“Hey, Agent Coulson, your Barton’s handler, right?”

He looks up and nods. The earlier parts of the conversation drift through his memory - this is not going to go anyplace he likes. The heteronormitivity makes him want to lecture, but the rest makes him want to fight.

“He’s getting some on the side, isn’t he?”

“Any answer I give would be biased.”

“Ah, come on. Being his handler makes you know him better.”

“If Agent Barton was ‘getting some on the side’ as you put it, as his husband, I’m afraid I’d have to kill him,” Coulson says. Then he closes the file he was reading, picks up the folders in one hand and his coffee mug in the other. He nods at the two agents, who have their mouths open. Their marriage is classified, but since Coulson decides who has clearance for what anyways, he just reminds himself to fill out the papers to give them special dispensation on this issue.

“Ladies,” he nods and walks out the door.


	23. Chapter 23

Later that night, Clint comes into their bedroom, gets naked, and gets into bed with a hello-I’ve-missed-you kiss before becoming the little spoon. He moves his hand to his ear to take out his hearing aids, but Phil stops him. He has a story to tell.

Phil wraps around him and tells him of the two young female agents mis-step. Clint laughs heartily like Phil knew he would. 

Finally as the peels of laughter die down, Phil kisses Clint’s shoulder and squeezes his arm around Clint’s abs. Phil takes a little longer with each of those actions then he normally would.

Clint closes his hand around Phil’s and turns his head to the side. Wanting to look at Phil and not quite being able to make it, he turns in their embrace to face his husband. Eye-to-eye, Clint sees worry. He declares: “Hey, you know not ever, right? Not even for a mission.”

Phil leans his head down onto Clint’s shoulder. Clint strains to hear him. “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

At least they’re in a strong enough place in their relationship they both know he’s referring to future missions.

Clint had totally been expecting reunion sex or maybe cuddly sleeping with morning sex, not Phil admitting to an insecurity. Words don’t come to him, but instinct has him wrapping a leg around one of Phil’s and pulling him in tightly to his chest.

It’s Phil who breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where this is coming from.” And it’s true. They agreed to exclusivity formally two weeks in and that was four years ago. They’ve been married for seventeen months. This was a strange time for this issue to come up.

“I’ll write Fury a memo,” Clint finally says. They both laugh. Clint doesn’t do bureaucracy.

The tension over, Phil leans back, meeting Clint’s eyes and placing a hand on the back of the younger man’s head he states: “I love you so damn much.”

Clint, having grown comfortable with feelings over the years, in all seriousness responds: “I love you more.”

An instant later their lips are together and any space between their bodies is gone. Their cocks collide and become hard as Clint humps his hips into Phil’s. Their kisses are fierce - they can not get enough. Clint’s hand slides down Phil’s side then maneuvers to their cocks, taking their precum and spreading it over their hardened flesh to help ease the sliding.

Phil’s hand descends to Clint’s ass, squeezing it, then pushing his fingers into the cleft, circling his opening in a request. It’s rare for Clint to bottom for a lot of reasons.

“Yes, god yes,” is the breathless response.

Phil rolls him over to his back, careful to keep him from falling off the edge of the bed. Blindly his hand is in the nightstand drawer groping for the bottle of lube. Clint’s legs bend up, his thighs cradling Phil’s hips and his feet flat on the bed. Not for the first time he wishes for a mirror on their ceiling, but he’s never been able to voice the idea to Phil.

Phil’s mouth makes it’s way to his nipples, and Clint arches up into his husband. A slick finger arrives at this hole and he moans. The push inside is wonderful.

“I don’t want to prep you much. I want you to feel the stretch as my cock opens you.” 

“Anything,” he consents.

Phil doesn’t talk much at all during sex, let alone talk dirty, but when he does, it’s absolutely filthy. “I want you to feel me for days. I want to know you’re mine when you walk funny and I want you to know how much I want you. You’re mine Clint. All mine.” He adds a second finger.

“Only yours. Forever.”

Phil scissors his fingers for a minute, and then he lubes his cock and lines up his engorgement with his husbands body before pushing in slowly. 

Clint’s been away for two weeks and before that he hadn’t been penetrated in over a month and with only two fingers of prep the amount of stretching his body has to do to accommodate Phil is tremendous. Clint grabs the bars in the headboard. Once the head is in, Phil stops.

“Too much?”

“No. Perfect.”

Slowly Phil pushes home until his balls are pressed to Clint’s skin. 

“Fuck!” Clint’s internal muscles can’t help but try to push out the intruder involuntarily. Before Phil can worry he went too far, Clint moans, “I want this all the time. You, in me, stretching me. Making me yours.”

Phil groans. He brings his mouth to Clint’s ear as his hips start thrusting, making Clint see white.

“When I finish fucking you I’m going to suck you,” he whispers. “You’re going to come down my throat and I’m going to swallow your cum. And then I’m going to suck you until you’re hard and moaning again.” It sounds like heaven to Clint, who tries to buck against Phil. Phil takes a hand and presses Clint’s hips into the bed, controlling their fuck. “I’m going to twirl my tongue the way you like and I’m going to make you beg.” Thrust, thrust, thrust - the rhythm of Phil’s hips established. “You’re going to beg for my cock and you’re going to beg for your second orgasm and you’re only going to come when I give you permission.”

Clint can’t help but come at that thought.

The contractions of Clint’s orgasm trigger Phil into his own and when he’s done he carefully pulls out and collapses on his back next to Clint instead of on top of him.


End file.
